ANGER
November 8th, 2006You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can’t be holding on
To what you got
When all you’ve got is hurt
- U2, “One”
U2 has said that the song One is about AIDS and intolerance of homosexuals. They have also claimed that it is about the Berlin wall and a city divided. The song’s video, featuring cars driving around Berlin alternating with shots of U2 in gender-bending drag, doesn’t answer the question very well either. Today, I take the former explanation, because the lyrics - one of my all time favorites - is very apropos.
I have always been proud to be a Wisconsinite, but yesterday, my state hurt me. The people of Wisconsin, by a 59% - 41% vote, added discrimination to our constitution. Marriage is now defined as only being between one man and one woman. Not only that, but no arrangements that approximate marriage are also illegal. So you can forget about civil unions in my (un)fair state, too. There are so many things I could say right now, I don’t even know where to start. Let’s just say it amazes me that in the 21st century, people could still be so hurtful even hateful to people they don’t even know. Have we learned nothing from our history?
Well, the gloves are off. I have always been nice about dealing with this subject. I avoided words like “bigot” and “hate”. But I have been stepped on one too many times. I will now call them like I see them. You think telling me that whom I love is less special then your love for your spouse? Well, that’s bigoted. You think that treating me like an outcast, a second-class citizen, is democracy in action? Well think again. It’s hate.
Yes, I’m angry. Maybe I will regret some of the harsher words in my postings over the next few days. But I will let them stand, regardless. I know some people will tell me I need to be more sensitive and not use such inflammatory words. But personally, right now, I am tired of trying to win over people who hate us with niceness.
It’s not that I didn’t expect this to happen - I knew the measure would pass. But I had hoped the vote would have been much closer. Previous polls showed that people favored the amendment by less then 10 points. So what happened? My guess is this: when asked whether or not they supported the amendment, people were more apt to say “no”, even though they planned to vote yes. This is because those people knew that underneath it all, the only reason to vote “yes” was prejudice and bigotry. No one wants to admit to this in a public setting, but in the anonymity of the voting booth - well then it becomes a lot easier to be a bigot. Why do you think the KKK wears hoods? Anonymity. On November 7th, as far as I am concerned, Wisconsin’s voting booths became little white hoods for 59% of the voting public.
Why does this bigotry still exist? Because gays are still an enigma to so many people. We are not a visible minority; there is nothing external to show that were are different from your average heterosexual. It’s easy to be a bigot when your prejudices are directed at people you have never seen or known. That is, at least, people you think you have never seen. Gay people - we are everywhere. But even those of us who are out of the closet remain in a “public closet”. We don’t show it to the public on a day to day basis. Maybe at big events like pridefest sure, but when it’s just a day at the grocery, no, we don’t show that our relationship is more then just friends. We don’t hold hands in malls. We don’t kiss at airports when we greet a loved one. At least, most of us don’t - myself included. Kudos to those brave ones of us that have always been unafraid to show the world their love. From now on, I won’t hide it - ever. I think that the gay community’s response to these hateful amendments should be to do everything the bigots claim we do anyhow: shove it in their faces. At least, do it as much as the heterosexuals do. Hold hands while you walk down the street. That in itself can go a long way.
I’m not saying, “Go out of your way to advertise it”. Don’t stick your tongue down your partner’s throat in front of a kindergarten class. But if something is acceptable in our society for heterosexual couples to do, don’t hold back just because you’re gay. Put your arm around your partner at the theatre. Cuddle up under a blanket when watching the fireworks on the Forth of July. The point is, to use an aphorism I hate, “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.”
Well, I have talked on this more then I planned already. More thoughts on this travesty are forthcoming, though.
